Today, I want to address my thoughts and feelings about something that I have yet to really acknowledge since I started this new blog : my return to fitness blogging. If you’ve been following me since I started in 2012, or even if you’re just poppin’ in for the first time, you’ll see that I took some time off from social media.
I guess I should start with why I stopped in the first place. People often ask my how I got to the point I am at now, or “how do you have so many followers?” Totally fair, because there are tons of people out there that are in far better shape than I am, especially in my area… so how did I do it? Well, I started early. It may not really seem like it now, but think about just how fast the social media fitness movement started and blew up. Two or three years ago, it definitely wasn’t as broad and extensive as it is now. So I had a huge head start. In some ways, however, being a part of the initial rising of the “fitspo” development is what led me to stop. Even though I was posting pictures of my body and blogging about my life, I was not comfortable or confident in my own skin. I actually preferred to have random followers than to ask my friends and acquaintances to follow me because I was embarrassed and preferred the anonymity. Posting a progress picture on instagram wasn’t a glorious testament to show the world what I could do. Instead, it was finding perfect lighting, writing the best caption and refreshing the photo every two minutes to make sure nobody wrote anything mean, or worse – nothing at all. The constant pursue of validation from others and the lack of presence in my own life is what led me to lose all confidence and stop posting all together.
So why I am back? Because this is what I love. And I’m not afraid to be who I am and share what I love anymore. I have people in my life that are radicals of both sides: people who eat, sleep, breathe fitness and others that say, “hey, I don’t care what’s in this donut, as long as I love my body – I am happy.” I have friends that have aspirations of becoming fitness models and others that say that social media is a waste of time. I was always hopping on to someone else’s train of thought instead of listening to what I wanted and what I thought. Some days I wanted to blog about macros and some days I wanted to throw my phone out the window and hike all day with my dog. So why can’t I do both? I mean really do both. Because that’s what I want. I want to post my progress and talk about my training styles and not give a damn if that girl from my high school math class is following me and wondering what she thinks. I want to spend my whole sunday immersed in a book at my favorite coffee shop and not look at my phone once. It doesn’t have to be either or, and I understand that now more than ever.
So that is why I am back. Because I know there are people out there preaching balance, yet I don’t see it. I don’t want to wait for the next big person to come along that balances life and shares all the secrets so that I can do it, too. I can be that person for myself. It’s a wonderful thing to have role models that motivate you and inspire you. But no one really gets you like you do, and that small voice that kind of knows what it wants? Run with it. Follow it. It may be leading somewhere cool and you never know until you try.